In the beginning

I decided last year that I really wanted to join a Bible study. Good idea, right? As I was deciding which one to join I really felt led to one that a couple of amazing women that I know are in, people whom I admire and look up to and promised that it wasn't too hard or intimidating :) To sweeten the deal, I found out they were studying Genesis. I admit I thought, I could do that! How many times have I read Genesis, like 4000? And I have taught it so many times that I really thought it would be a piece of cake. Apparently arrogance and over confidence will always come around and bite you in the behind. Today marked our second meeting, and I already feel overwhelmed. I get so shy in groups of people I don't know and I hate talking. I know, big shocker, but I really don't like speaking up. I feel like what I have to say is not inspiring or smart and I like being right so if I am not certain that I am right then I don't want to say anything. I know, I am a total control freak with major issues. I just wish that I had a friend with me, I work much better in a pair than on my own. Matt thinks this will be a good learning experience. I would write what my initial thought to that was but this is a G-rated blog. I just wish that I could walk into a room of people (other than that in my little circle) and be myself, not feel totally insecure and like people are expecting me to do and say a certain thing. Does everyone feel this way? I am going to give it a month and see what happens, I will keep you posted. Oh, and if you have any brilliant insight on Genesis 2 that I can claim as my own and share next week pass them along (hee hee, just kidding).

Adventures In Dining

Many of you know that we have had a really bad week...month...few months. So, noticing that my kids are starting to feel the burden of some of our issues I wanted to do something nice for them. I talked to my dad who agreed to take us out to dinner tonight to KJ's favorite place, IHOP. Not sure why she thinks this is her favorite place, since we only go there once every couple of years, but she has it in her head that it is like the bees knees of restaurants. I was reminded tonight why it is not my favorite place, and why we only go there once every couple of years.
To start, how the heck do you decide what to order when it is dinner time but the pancakes look so yummy in the pictures? The kids quickly decided on hot chocolate and the boys wanted chicken and Kendall wanted the funny face pancake. Okay, this is a special treat night, so have whatever you want. Mind you as soon as they lick all the whipped cream off of the hot chocolate I know they won't want to drink it because it will be too hot but that's okay, whatever they want tonight. So after we order, we wait. Usually my kids are good at the dinner table, but for some reason Camden was really antsy tonight. Thankfully, there were not too many other guests at the restaurant. He waited about five minutes before very loudly asking, "Where's my food?" I am sorry dear, not every restaurant is as fast as McDonald's. My poor boy has already been tainted by the speediness of fast food! When our food finally did arrive, we were all a little disappointed. First, the funny face chocolate chip pancake was replaced by a plain pancake with banana slices for a smile. Second, the boys got apple slices with their chicken instead of french fries. When I questioned the waiter he politely explained that they had replaced some of the menu items with healthier options. Hello, I did not come here for healthy food!!! If I wanted that we would have stayed home, we are here to get sugared up feel good food, which is what the menu you gave us offered! He quickly offered to "fix" our order, which meant poor Kendall waiting on her dinner even longer and the boys started to eat hopeful that their fries were coming. Bennett also decided that he might enjoy the healthier fare and asked for the apples, which is when I noticed that the apple bag they gave us was not the crisp preservative filled kind we get at McDonald's, but some "healthier" version that apparently had been sitting around too long because I could tell just from picking up the bag that the apples were slimy and squishy and I knew if I opened it my nose would be filled with the gross stench of sour rotten apple. So, needless to say, we passed on the "healthy" side. Yuck. We finally got everything straightened out, KJ got her meal and the boys got their mouth burning hot from the oil french fries, and we ate our dinner. Once we were done, we tried patiently to wait for our check, which only took about 20 minutes to retrieve. Can you believe it? Could they not see us tapping our fingers, me pulling Camden off of the walls, and Kendall saying she was tired? Finally we gave in and went and got it ourselves, which we probably should have done a lot sooner.
Ending the evening on a high note I took Kendall and Camden to the bathroom, only to get a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I am really hoping that the lighting in there was off because I seriously looked like death on a cracker, pale & pasty and about 50 years old. Not that looking 50 is bad, it's just not something I aim for while I am still in my 30's. And to top it off, when we got in the car Kendall asked if she could have a treat. Seriously? You just downed a chocolate chip pancake with whipped cream and a cup of hot chocolate and now you are asking for a treat? I guess there is no denying that she is her mother's daughter :)

Mommy Mistake #5432

As I looked in the fridge last night I realized that the fridge fairy never showed up yesterday and we had very slim pickins' in the house. Shocker. So I bravely asked my children what they wanted to eat. That was mistake number one, because although my kids share the same gene pool they all have very different tastes in food. Of course you know the one thing that they finally agreed on, was the ever nutritious Golden Arches. I gave them the task of searching for quarters in the couch and when we gathered enough I packed them in the car for their special meal. As we pull into the drive through I realized I was in trouble, because for whatever reason I thought I could do the penny pinching thing and get one big meal to share with the kids and only spend the $3.00 that I had. Totally forgot about the huge sign displaying the toys that come in the happy meals. How do I talk my kids out of wanting the crappy toys that come in those cute boxes, that only last in the house long enough for my kids to turn their heads so I can sneak them in the trash? And what is with the blue doll? Right now for girls they have mini Madame Alexander dolls in Wizard of Oz garb, and I recognized all but the doll with the blue hair and blue dress. Now I know I slept through parts of the movie, but I don't remember a scary looking lady with blue hair. And I definitely didn't sleep through Wicked (which as a side note was awesome and I wish I could take matty to see it) and there was no blue lady. Did I miss something in the original? Anyway, I knew that I would hear nothing but whining all the way home if we didn't get the toys - but I also knew that there was no way we had the cash. Not that my kids are usually that demanding and whiny, but it was the end of the day and they were all hungry, and I know that I am probably making excuses but please don't email me and give me parenting advice, trust me this is not the week I want to hear it. All this to say that the next time I look in the fridge and think there is nothing for dinner I may re-think the whole asking the kids what they want and let them dine on fishy crackers and applesauce. They would probably just think it is some sort of special occasion and be excited for once to clean their plate :)

My Bennett

I saw Bennett yesterday. No, I mean I really saw him. I watched his eyes sparkle as he looked at something, and I really saw him. And I realized how much I miss him. Obviously I spend time with all my kids, but as Bennett gets older and our lives get busier we don't spend as much one on one time as we should. And sadly I think he has gotten accustomed to standing aside so that his little - and louder - siblings get the attention they crave. He is getting to that quirky awkward stage where his body seems too skinny and his head seems too big and you never know what is going on with those teeth, and yet he is so beautiful to me. I guess boys go through this awkward stage for the next twelve years, don't they?
I realized that Bennett was only a year and a half when I got pregnant with Kendall, and that that nine months is a complete blur where all I really recall clearly is throwing up in various locations around the house, neighborhood, and freeway. Now Bennett is seven and I can't help but wonder where all our time has gone. It's weird having Camden around, just by himself. And it is weird having a two and a half year old without having an infant around. I find myself questioning all of my parenting, and wishing there was a way I could go back and re-do some things. It's funny to think about how much I remember of second grade, knowing that Bennett is in that stage of life right now. I hope and pray that I am building good memories for my kids.

Picture Day

Tomorrow is Picture Day at school, so of course I have spent the whole day trying to figure out what Bennett and Kendall will wear. I totally remember picture day when I was a kid, trying to stay clean all day and then using those little black combs to fix your hair. I am not in my kindergarten class picture. I always thought that I started kindergarten late, but actually I was just absent on picture day. Didn't figure that one out until college, not that it matters that much. I do remember my first grade pictures. I was wearing a royal blue jumper dress thing with a white shirt and I had pigtails with blue and white pom poms. Not my favorite picture. Who decided pom poms in the hair would be a good idea? Did someone look at a cotton ball one day and think, hey, lets put a string on that and stick it in your hair? I know I probably loved it at the time, and I know they are coming back in fashion. For kids that is, in case there was any confusion. I'm not sure what to do with Kendall's hair. Her self inflicted half bang cut from the summer has grown out a little, but it almost makes it look worse now. At least when it was super short it just looked like she was missing a chunk of hair, now you can definitely tell it is just badly cut, especially since the rest of her bangs are pretty long. Although I am aware that rule #25 in the mommy handbook is never ever cut your daughter's bangs the day before picture day, I just might try it. It couldn't look any worse, right? Bennett's hair is a little easier, I just slick it down with water and pray that when it dries it doesn't fling out it quirky ways. Even if it does, it still fits his personality and looks cute. If only it was that easy for us girls :)

Catching Up

Okay, so I am the worst blogger in the world. Sorry it has taken so long for a new post! We have been crazy busy lately. Is it summer yet?
There was a time in my life (around college, you know, young and stupid) that I thrived on busy-ness. I took pride in working 2-3 jobs and going to college. It made me feel important, almost worthy. It was something that I really had to work on to get over. I think it is embedded in our culture, don't you? Normally now I try not to get overly busy. I am a huge planner and I like having things scheduled to do, but try not to overwhelm my family with too much. This past week has been an exception. Although I confessed to someone yesterday that I am kind of finding peace in the midst of chaos. I figure I can at least control our meeting times, soccer practice, ballet class, volunteer hours, and special events. I manage them. I schedule them. And when I am in control of those things, it helps me not to think about those difficult areas of my life right now that I am completely not in control of. Those things that I daily and nightly try to release to God, gently reminding him that I am still here and waiting for His response. Desperate to have some control over those things, but also oddly thankful that I don't.
Okay, bummer moment aside, and on to other items. Kendall had her first soccer game this past weekend. I would attach pictures but our camera batteries died, so you will have to wait until next week. She looked cute and I thought she was having fun until near the end of the fourth quarter when she started crying and said that soccer was too hard. Of course, since I am coaching, this is not the best example for my team. And it is not like we can quit now. We decided that she will probably need to sit out the third quarter, so she has a nice long break to rest up. And I think she is going to play more of a defensive role, even though the girls don't have positions, don't keep score, and basically just run back and forth on the field in a big clump fighting for the ball. It really is kind of fun to watch.

A Couple of Gross Things to Brighten Your Day

I hate ants. Seriously, I despise them. I have no idea why they were created. I can imagine Adam, when presented with the animals, saw the ants and then immediately looked over and said,"Hey you, you shall be named anteater, and you shall eat these up."
Can you tell we have ants in our house right now? I feel like they are crawling all over me. It is like when someone mentions lice and immediately your head starts to itch. I am ready to pack up my things and move. They aren't even going after anything in particular, just wandering around the house. Apparently they heard about us and wanted to check us out. It makes me feel like I have a dirty house, and while I admit it is not immaculately clean it is also not dirty enough to bring in ants. Or so I thought. I remember when I was in 5th grade we had to put together a bug collection and I couldn't find any ants at our house. I even put a pile of sugar in the backyard to try and attract them but had no luck. Maybe these ants heard the story and are trying to make up for their past absence in my life.
And while we are on the subject of gross things, I forgot to post Camden's lovely incident last week. Since we started potty training we have him sit instead of stand so that he doesn't have to transition when he has a bowel movement. Lately we have been not using the potty seat so that he could get used to using any regular potty, and lately he has taken up a habit of watching himself go. Good times. Anyway, last week while he was watching himself I saw him put his finger in the stream of pee. I said, "Camden, we don't touch our pee, it's dirty" and then he proceeded to lick the pee off of his finger. EEWWW, gross, gag, yuck. The joys of raising a little boy, Kendall never would have done that. Sorry to gross you out, but that is just the chance you take in reading our blog.