My Bennett

I saw Bennett yesterday. No, I mean I really saw him. I watched his eyes sparkle as he looked at something, and I really saw him. And I realized how much I miss him. Obviously I spend time with all my kids, but as Bennett gets older and our lives get busier we don't spend as much one on one time as we should. And sadly I think he has gotten accustomed to standing aside so that his little - and louder - siblings get the attention they crave. He is getting to that quirky awkward stage where his body seems too skinny and his head seems too big and you never know what is going on with those teeth, and yet he is so beautiful to me. I guess boys go through this awkward stage for the next twelve years, don't they?
I realized that Bennett was only a year and a half when I got pregnant with Kendall, and that that nine months is a complete blur where all I really recall clearly is throwing up in various locations around the house, neighborhood, and freeway. Now Bennett is seven and I can't help but wonder where all our time has gone. It's weird having Camden around, just by himself. And it is weird having a two and a half year old without having an infant around. I find myself questioning all of my parenting, and wishing there was a way I could go back and re-do some things. It's funny to think about how much I remember of second grade, knowing that Bennett is in that stage of life right now. I hope and pray that I am building good memories for my kids.