Survival Mode

As of 8:00 this morning I am officially in survival mode. Matty left for camp today. It has taken me many years to not be bitter and resentful every time he leaves to spend time having fun with other people's kids, and while I try to be supportive it is still not easy. Usually survival mode for me means that I have the entire week scheduled; filled with play dates, dinner at friends houses, way too much fast food, and lots of carefully planned videos. Unfortunately this time since I have been so sick lately I haven't been able to plan much, so survival mode has now turned in to panic mode. And to make matters worse, all of our Zoo & Museum memberships have expired and we don't really have the extra money to do anything like that this week. Isn't it sad to that the thought of a week alone with my children with nothing to do would give me anxiety? I should be thankful for these bonding moments. I should cherish the extra alone time with them. I should spend the week humbly reminded of the years I spent yearning for children and praising God for the wonderful husband that I have who helps out so much around the house. I should do those things, instead of trying to figure out how we can afford a nanny the next time Matt leaves. I should also probably get off of the computer and actually pay attention to the children, who are currently knocking down block walls on the coffee table with space ship toys they got from their happy meals. Yes, the fast food has already started. Have a great week everyone!